On a lighter note.....

My online community of widowed friends has a knack for making light of all the stupid things we do due to our minds not functioning as well these days. We have even coined our own term for it. We endearingly call it "Widow Brain" or "Widda Brain". Of course, every person in the world has a "blonde moment" every now and then. I don't know if there is any scientific evidence to prove that this is a real phenomenon specific to someone who has been through a major life change or trauma. But it can be very frustrating sometimes.

These things range from serious issues to menial everyday tasks. Here are a few examples:
(By the way, these are experiences posted by my online friends...not me!)

• Deodorant does not work as hairspray.

• The dry clothes don't need to be dried again...unless you forget to take them out, and put the wet clothes from the washer in with them. Or unless they're not at all dry, because you never pushed the button to start the dryer to begin with.

• When going to a drive through restaurant, it is a good idea to actually get the food at the second window that you have already paid for at the first window before driving off.

• You can water a fake plant that someone gave you as often as you want - it's not going to grow. Someone gave one to me at my husband's funeral and I watered it for a year before I figured it out. I swore I bloomed a new flower too.

• Before you crank the propane tank open and strike the match, MAKE SURE THE LID IS UP ON THE BBQ!!! I almost blew my friggin head off!!!

• Don't put the coffee in the broom closet...you will never find it.. because you never go into the broom closet anymore.. because you never do any cleaning anymore.. because.. just don't put the coffee in the broom closet.

• Make sure the support group you attend is actually for widows. I accidentally ended up at a narcotics anonymous meeting. When I said "I think I'm in the wrong place" they said, " Oh why? Are you an alcoholic?"

• Write with huge numbers your phone number and be sure to keep it handy... Just in case... I had an embarrassing moment forgetting my phone number!!!!

• When a good Samaritan has stopped to pull your vehicle out of the snowbank/ditch/mud, do NOT gun the motor to help. (...thereby smashing into the rear end of his vehicle after he has stopped and you have not) Signed, The Blonde Widow Brained Voice of Experience

• If you're going to go to the trouble of locking the side door to the garage for the night, you might want to consider actually shutting the gaping big garage door too.

• (I learned the hard way on this one) If you hire a lawn-mowing service to take over yard care until you are "back on your feet" again, don't tell the lawn guy you've just lost your husband. Otherwise, every few weeks creepy lawn man will show up at your door with his late-40-something thinning hair parted down the middle and his beer belly pressing against his lime green tank top and he will be grinning at you while he digs his denim shorts out of his crack and asking if there's anything else he can do for you while you hurriedly try to write his dang check so you can run inside and go, EEUWWW!

• Did you all know that you actually have to put ice cream in the freezer to keep it frozen? Just putting it on top of the freezer doesn't work. I can't seem to get this little bit of info to stick in my head. I just keep putting it on top and don't find it until it has melted all down the refrigerator!!!

• Lose the toothpaste pump and go back to the tube...if it sits next to the soap dispenser you too may end up sticking soap in your mouth. That will take you back to your childhood.

• When you leave home to pick up your three young children from school don't forget to put your other (the fourth) sleeping baby in the car too!

• This tip I chant to myself: The freezer is NOT the place for your keys. The freezer is NOT the place for your keys. Also I have discovered that if you put the book shelf together inside out, with the holes for the shelf on the outside you will just have to start over.

• When going out of town, (as I did, to a grief seminar no less) remember to take the packed suitcase off the bed and actually put it in the car.

• Do not attempt to put together self-assembly furniture while enjoying several glasses of wine. But if you DO, like I did, and accidentally attach parts that don't belong together and then can't get them apart, take the parts in question over to Home Depot or Lowe's, where there are lots of strong, resourceful men equipped with every tool in the world who love a challenge like this.

I guess I've been pretty lucky so far. I've had a few incidences that I suppose I could blame on "Widow Brain". But I mostly notice that I just have a more difficult time concentrating in general.

Now...if I could just quit putting my underwear on inside out!!

Seriously, I've done that so often lately I often wonder if I am switching them around while I sleep! The funny part is that I found out I'm not alone in this. Several other people have admitted to doing this, also. But, hey, at least I'm only putting them on inside out and not backwards and then wondering why they feel funny all day! :)

So the next time I'm in a grouchy mood, maybe just gently ask me if I have my underwear on the right way! I guess that "don't get your panties in a bunch" saying has a quite literal meaning!