Stereotypes

What does a "widow" look like? Because, technically, that's what I am.

Is she old, gray-haired, and wrinkled? Does she wear black for a year? Is her next move into a nursing home? Or perhaps she has to move in with one of her adult children because she can no longer maintain her house. Can she still drive a car? Hell, she must already have one foot in the grave herself.

Sitting at the cemetery today, a gentleman (approximately 70 years old), walked nearby and asked me, "Is that your dad or your mom you're visiting?" I simply replied, "No. It's my husband." He stumbled for words for a moment. Is that what most people think when they see me there? That I must surely be here visiting one of my parents because I'm too young to have a husband who died? Probably. It really doesn't matter. But, I have to admit, when I see a younger person like me at the cemetery, I look around to see if they have a spouse and/or children with them. I try to guess who they are there to visit. Only one time have I seen someone my age with a child visiting. Every other time, it is a couple with children. That always makes me feel lonely and isolated.

Anyways, he then proceeded to ask me how old he was and how he died. After that, he went on to bitch about the cemetery, the management, the corporate bigwigs. He told me about the $20,000 in attorney fees he has supposedly spent trying to sue the place. He told me about the "hush money" that plot owners and surrounding homeowners have been paid.

All of the things I didn't want or need to hear.

I nodded politely and smiled when appropriate.

After all, I'm just a "widow" who wanted to spend a few minutes at the cemetery today...visiting her husband.